I just ruined my own day by googling statistics about bipolar parents having bipolar children. At first it wasn’t too bad – with one bipolar parent, the risk for a child is somewhere around 4-15%. The rest of the story is what upset me: Children of a bipolar parent have a 50% chance of having some kind of mood disorder (bipolar, major depression, an anxiety disorder, and so on). Two-thirds of bipolar people can point to someone with bipolar disorder or major depression in their immediate family.
I want to say “that’ll teach me to google shit,” but in this case, this is stuff I need to know. I would like to have a baby someday if the opportunity arises, but as I digest this new information, I don’t know if I can, in good conscience, have my own biological kids. Fifty percent is a lot, and I don’t think I could live with myself if my son or daughter had to suffer through the things I’ve had to. I wouldn’t wish any of this on my worst enemy. Yes, this stuff is all treatable, but treatable and curable are different things.
Ugh. I’m already a hot mess this week courtesy of my Cymbalta withdrawal, so this is highly unwanted. But I’ll soldier on. Just needed to vent a little bit of this angst.